Growing up we often hear adults say they miss their childhood or state childhood is the best phase of life. As a 20-year-old adult now, I can understand those statements now. You would relate to it too whether you are kick-starting your career right now or laying stepping stones for it. The struggle in the adult world is tough and no one prepares you for it. You just learn along the way.
“Just complete your graduation and you’ll have a stress-free life”. The statement most of us heard while growing up in an over-achieving society. At some point, you’ll realize it’s not absolutely wrong. It is not that there is no stress in your life anymore, it’s rather an accommodation effect. You learn to live with stress throughout the process.
Stepping out of your parents’ or guardian’s house, you’ll notice how difficult it is to lead a stable life when everything going out of your hands. This is when the realization hits that no situation is under our control. And such a circumstance would call for action; an action that can help us move on with life with minimum damage. All these things happen when you are in emotional turmoil and gathering courage to face the adverse situations with the most confusing set-ups. The first step to independence and a challenge is to come out of the shell you have been in throughout your childhood and teenage.
It is a time when you stumble upon a lot of things and try them out on a whim. You have fun, make friends and stay with your company. It is known as the craziest time for a reason. You feel you can conquer the world and take on a lot of adventures. Responsibility takes a step back in your mind subconsciously. You lose track of time. And you make mistakes. Your definition of perfect will be questioned. But it’s a point when everyone is trying to build a career. You judge, be a critic in the midst of being criticized for any action. The mindset of people becomes self-centered. You meet a lot of people. Some friendships turn into connections. Groups form with people with similar interests. Your emotions go into turmoil. And not everyone would pass the vibe test. Some might even get on your nerves. You learn how complex the human brain works and how complicated human relations can get. The process of sweet talks and superficial connections makes you wise enough to recognize good, bad, authentic, and hoaxes. In the end, you’ll learn how to deal with people in real life. You learn to mold yourself and stay away from negativity through the process. This is how you become emotionally intelligent as adults and suffice the needs of life. And it leads to the path of emotional independence from emotional interdependence.
Schools never taught us living a life. School gave us knowledge but it did not teach you how to deal with things when your morale is down. You must wonder why learning a language properly was given more importance than communication skills. Learning a language does not teach you soft skills, the most essential skill in any sector of work. At a point, you start to question how to survive in a society with the academic stuff you learned at school. It does not imply school education was completely irrelevant. You do get enlightened about why you studied physics or general knowledge as kids at some point in your life. Mathematics is disliked by many students in school. Yet it is surprising to see how maths takes up a standard role when you start doing your own accounting. While the basic life skills, you learn on your own. You learn to wash clothes on your own and get up every day on your own to start the day. You start realizing how great of a cook your mom or dad is when you start eating food not served by them. This does not end here. You start taking up roles. You become a plumber, electrician, delivery person, carpenter, and even a nurse for people at times. You become a ‘jack’ of all trades and master of some. You learn to fix your own problems. You learn how to get up when you fall back or fall behind and make it through. And you learn the most essential skill to survive in the world, i.e., “jugaad”. The Indian term “jugaad” refers to an innovative fix or a hack. You find some way to solve a problem. You learn to be independent.
You get knocked down at the most compromising situations. You make the worst decisions. Discouragement crawls in while you are trying to catch up to your expectations. And in such a moment you would crave support until you learn to strive through the most difficult times. You might feel powerless at times but it is a fact there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. You emerge as an eminent personality and responsible individual of the society.
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Written By: Anaiska Ray, 2nd Year MBBS, Jawaharlal Nehru Medical College, Wardha